My first blog ever...

 My first blog EVER... Lets see how it goes. First I suppose a little about me. Well my name is Laura. I'm a wife to a wonderful man named Bryan that has truly been a God send. I have 4 amazing kids. I am fortunate enough to get to stay home and raise my children. I worked for a lot of years in retail and last year I had to make the decision to stay home. My family was suffering because of my choices. Many of my blogs to come will be about my life and my journey. Not because I need anyone to know me but because through me, I hope people will come to know Jesus and His faith in His lost sheep along with His unending mercy. 

         Something I want people to understand is that they are not alone. Life is hard for everyone at one time or another. For some people, life feels hard everyday.I hope to help it feel not so hard. I hope to provide people with an antidote for pain. All of this is of course with God's guidance because I am not capable of helping anyone unless He helps me first. He will direct my path :)

         I guess I need to choose a topic for this particular blog. I think I would love to share my miracles. I have seen a few that were very significant for my life. These are the things that I can say are the very foundation of me starting to understand the power of prayer and God's omnipotence. 

         My husband and I started going to our church about 3 years ago. I was raised to believe in God and so was he but we sure didn't live like it.When I was little, my grandparents had a little ministry that they did out of their home. I can remember going to a couple churches and even being baptized in a lake. I was aware that there was a God and I was also aware of Jesus. I would have told anyone that asked me that I believed, but my life reflected just the opposite.I hadn't learned yet the significance of my lifestyle. My cousin came to me one day, and even though I don't think he knew all my dark secrets, he knew enough to say this "Laura, if you don't change your ways, you are going straight to hell". WOW! What a thing to say to a person. Thank God for my grandparents and their little ministry because at that exact moment, the little seed that had been planted in me probably 15 to 20 years before had just rooted. Even though I was like how dare you! I knew the truth when I heard it. My cousin asked my boyfriend and me to go to church with him. Ok, I can do that and Bryan agreed. Sunday came and of course, we sat in the back and from the moment we sat down and service started, I bawled like a baby. I think it was probably typical for the average sinner to cry at church but maybe not to the point that there were snot bubbles popping in their eye. Ok ok maybe not in my eye, but you get the idea.

               For a while after that I fought church. When Sundays came, I picked fights to stay home. I was too tired or sick or headache and on and on. But my Bryan :) he still went and luckily for me made me feel guilty every time afterwards. Little did I know, the times that I did go, Jesus had already begun changing me. One day it hit me. "You have got to fix this Laura and NOW!" We couldn't get married fast enough! I got saved at Christmas time and by Feb 28th, I had become Mrs. Bryan. The first year was hard for us. I would say we stumbled around a lot but actually it was more like I tripped us up a lot. I had a lot of bad habits that died really really hard. We also had experienced a tough time financially. We lost the house we lived in and had to move us and my kids in with my mother. I was grateful to have a roof over my head but man that house was toxic! Fighting was the topic of conversation everyday. Bryan and I looked for what seemed like forever for a new house. It only actually took about six weeks but this is where our first miracle came in. I was outside one night and was just talking to God. Now, the day before, my sister had told me she saw a house for rent and gave me the number. I guess she had copied it down wrong because when I called it was disconnected or something. I just wrote it off as no big deal. So, I'm outside and talking to God and the conversation went like this "God, I just don't understand. We have been looking for a house and praying about a house but everything is a dead end. Where are you and why aren't you helping?" His reply "Laura, how can you expect me to do what you ask, when you can't do what I ask?" That was actually very heavy to me and made 100% legitimate sense. "Ok God, what do you want me to do?"  He said "quit smoking and stop drinking energy drinks because you are addicted to them both." Ok when you are a smoker and are addicted to caffeine, giving them both up at the same time isn't always peachy, but God wanted me to do it so He helped me.

            After becoming in agreement with God, I went inside to tell Bryan my most awesome revelation. A house was coming soon!

            THE VERY NEXT DAY!! We were driving along and passed this house that I just loved. I had always said that when I grew up, I wanted a house with a porch all the way around. Well, I got exactly what I asked for. This house was awesome! I copied down the number and went back to my moms to call and to my surprise it was the same number my sister had given me, except two numbers were switched. I called and a man answered. I asked him if he could show us the house and he said well, how about I tell you where the key is and you just go look and tell me what you think. A little weird but ok. We did just that. It was perfect for us. We live in a small town near a big lake so houses go fast. I called him again and told him I loved it. The problem was, we didn't have enough money yet for the deposit and I was so desperate for this house. I started to tell the man about our situation and he said you know what, God has put in my heart to let you move in and not pay me anything yet. Just give me what you have and we will work the rest out. That man was my first miracle! Never in my life had anyone ever been so kind to us and trust us with something that big. We had a home again that was ours! God blessed me with a house exactly the way I wanted it to be! 

        Miracle number 2:)  I continued to work, and sadly, there were a lot of poor choices that stared me in the face at that job. There were also a lot of changes being made to the company that most of the employees recognized as being bad. I felt this urgency in my heart to get out of there. God did not want me working at that place.After a little over 5yrs I quit. I had many reasons why I think He didn't want me there but my heart says its a reason I was fortunate enough to not know. Quitting, however, was very hard for me. I had 3 young children and had never been a stay at home mom. I actually never wanted to be either. I just didn't feel like I was the stay home and be Betty Crocker type of person. I quit in September and by the end of November we started struggling again. I was so worried about bills and what we were going to eat from day to day. Plus Christmas was coming and I hadn't bought one gift nor did I think I was going to. One particular Sunday was especially hard. We had got a cut off notice and our electricity was going to be shut of that very next day. I had asked my dad for so much in the past that I refused to ask him for anymore help. 2 months before the man bought us a brand new refrigerator because we didn't have one. Anyhow, it's Sunday and tomorrow the electricity is getting cut off. I was at my breaking point. I got down on my hands and knees and cried out to God. Please I begged. Please God get us through. We have this bill and it's this much and we have no food and no money. I cried and prayed for a while. Something came over me and said get up and clean your house. My husband asked me what in the world I was doing. I went from crying to cleaning. He thought it was some new woman thing I hadn't revealed to him yet. But I told him that company was coming and I needed to clean. Then he really thought I lost it. 

                 9pm Sunday evening there's a knock at the door. I opened to find my dad and step mom with arms full of groceries. My husband and I were just amazed. How did they know? How did they know we didn't have any food? They brought all the groceries in and we chatted for a little bit and I cried a lot because that's just what I do now. As we were saying our goodbyes, my dad hands me some rolled up money and said this is what was left over from my extra money after buying the food and it was in my heart to give it to you. It was exactly to the penny enough money for the electric bill. GOD HEARD ME! It could only be God. I didn't ask for my dads help. Not this time. I didn't ask anyone EXCEPT God! And He heard me. He answered my prayer. 

                I am so glad I decided to write this blog. It has helped me to revisit the things in my life that God has done for me and feel the love that He has. God is so good. I hope this blesses someone. I hope that it encourages someone to revisit a time in their life when you felt His great great love for you. I want people to realize that God is always for us. With Him we are always the winning team. My hope is for people to realize that a relationship with Him is a partnership. He wants to bless us and help us with everything, but He also wants us to do our part. Sometimes the only thing keeping us from the victory or the answered prayer is a simple act of obedience. Thanks for reading!